Dr Who: Jubilee Episode Two Scene One (moving tardis) cyber1: Here is the blue cabinet as you requested. cyber2: Excellent. Place it here and we will examine it. (inside) K9: Displacement of TARDIS detected. Danger! Danger! Activating scanner... (scanner opens) (on scanner:) I detect presence of my master. Zooming in... Leader: ... I have no time for your pleasantries... Scout! Scout: Leader? Leader: You see this ridiculous couple standing before us? Scout: I do. K9: Danger! Taking emergency action... (outside) Leader: Kill them! TARDIS opens... K9: Warning! Do not shoot! Romana: K9!! Am I glad to see you! K9: Mistriss. Leader: What is this? The cybermen will not be intimidated. KILL THEM NOW!! K9: Activating defences. (Shoots cyberman's gun to ashes) Doctor: I say, look what you've done to that poor chap's gun! Romana: He always did have a *nose* for danger! Doctor: Yes, very good Romana. Shall we make our exit? Romana: I do believe we should. Doctor: Then, if you'd accompany me into this curious blue police box... Romana: It'd be my pleasure, sir. Leader: You will not leave. Resistance is useless! The cybermen must be obeyed!! K9: Incorrect. Doctor: Well quite. (walks to tardis) Tooodaloo! (TARDIS shuts and dematerialises) Scene Two IN TARDIS Doctor: (mending k9) Hmmm... I didn't realise just how dirty you'd got inside, K9. I really must remember to change your traction belt to heavy duty next time we visit Yorkshire. K9: Affirmative master. Current belt was only suitable for flat terrain. Doctor: Well....maybe. But I never had these problems with Mk 3. K9: Negative master. Your designs were always flawed since mk 2. Doctor: (disbelief!) Yo-o-u, cheeky little.. K9: Master? Doctor: Oh ... pah! Just be quiet and recharge will you?! K9: Starting power-pack charge..charging in progress... (powers down... tardis hum lowers and wobbles) Doctor: What's going on! The TARDIS' power is waning - it's as if it's being tapped somehow... (calls) Romana! (no answer) Romana!! .......Oh, where is she? Romana: (enters as powers returns) Yes? You called? Doctor: Oh, good it stopped. Doesn't matter Romana. Romana: (Happily) Ok... (leaves). k9: (power waning again) power drain detected again, master. Doctor: Oh, (mumbling curses to self) p!d!m! What's going on here. (Hits console.) Romana: (Enters and power returns -dr, sigh of relief) What's up doctor, did you just drop something? Doctor: (getting more and more annoyed) No I didn't! Some alien's draining the TARDIS' power source. It could be dangerous. Romana: Oh, it's ok. It's no alien. Doctor: And just HOW do you come to that conclusion?? Romana: Relax. It was only me using my Vacuum-styler in the next room. I was doing my hair ready for that theatre show you promised to take me to... It's that new Halurian Xenos-o-matic I got back last week.. remember? ... when we visited the... Doctor: What!!!? Romana: (sheepish) (shrug) I guess it must have been a bit more powerful than I first thought.. Doctor: You're not wrong. The console registered a drain of 14000. Romana: (acting coy) Don't you like my hair then? Doctor: You hair's not half as much trouble as you are. Phuh! I don't know why I even bothered returning to pick you up from e-space. I much preferred your last two incarnations, you know.. they were much more...(mulling over)mmmm...amiable. Romana: Aren't *we* in a bad mood today, Doctor? Doctor: Well, if it's not you it's that rotten dog of yours - have you both got nothing better to do than to taunt me? Romana: Not to blame! You know jolly well that's *your* robot and not mine. Mk 3's still helping out in the CVE. Doctor: That's *just* what I mean - do you have to contradict everything I say..?!!? K9: Mistriss is correct... Doctor: (confused) Negative! ap-urrr-I mean, er.. oh... just go and work out pi or something, will you... K9: Calculating... (k9 thinks) Doctor: The theatre's cancelled anyway. We've got Cybermen to deal with now. I'd like to take a closer look at that device installed at the top of Canary Wharf. Romana: Oh, we're not going back there again are we? Doctor: (resolute) We most definately are. (Starts tardis moving) K9: Calculated pi as value 3.1415926535943280431785437980798434322... (fade out) Scene 3 Met Office OFFICE NOISE Jared: But Boss, I need that time off. Calla: Well I can't spare you. That Doctor Smith said he'd be back and I like to have some more data ready to show him. Jared: Oh yes. So he did. Well, perhaps it isn't so important after all... Calla: Maybe - but he does work for UNIT you know. They don't just pay casual visits. If they're involved then you can be sure something odd's afoot. Jared: (knowingly) No - I shouldn't think so. He's barking up the wrong tree, if you ask me, with his loopy conspiracy theories. Calla: Possibly. But I still can't afford to let you go - this afternoon of all... Jared: So whats to be done? Calla: Well, ensure they send a balloon up for starters. Jared: A balloon at that low altitude next to Canary Wharf? You can't do that! Calla: And why not? Jared: For one, it might crash into the tower itself. Calla: (impatient) Stop stalling, Wentworth... Jared: Well... er.. Just think what people will say. You can't go floating weather equipment across London willy-nilly... Calla: We're the Met Office, damn it! Issue a statement saying it was a UFO or something, I don't care! Just do it, OK?! Jared: (Sigh) Yes, Boss. I'll get right onto it. JARED LEAVES ROOM; RETURNS TO OFFICE AND PHONES CYBER HQ (In Cyber HQ) Jared: Control, I must send a balloon to investigate the weather. Control:We cannot sanction this interruption to our progress. You will refuse. Jared: But if i don't provide results my boss will become suspicious... Control:That is not important to the Cybermen. Jared: ...and he will report those findings to Doctor Smith when he returns. Control: (pause) Then we will provide feasible results that do not give us away. It is still important that we should not be discovered yet. You will launch a fake weather probe instead - of our design. Jared: Yes Control, I will obey. Scene 4 Canary Wharf TARDIS Dematerialises & door opens. (moments pause) Rom: Doctor, its a bit dark out here. Dr: Hmm, ahh there we go. (flicks switch) Rom: (SCREAMS) Dr: What the matter? Rom: (Stuttering) There! It's a ...a ... Dr: A vacuum cleaner attachment, yes. Rom: (Embarrased) Oh. (dead pause) Sorry. I thought it was a cybermat or something. Where are we then? Dr: A cleaners room. Rom: In Canary Wharf? Dr: In Canary wharf, that's right. And we need to get back to find where the Cybermen have hidden their weather controller. It may be just a case of a few little storms at the moment, but I suspect that device could cause rather large problems for this planet, once they start using it for real. (Opens door) Rom: I see. Well, it's got to be somewhere near here hasn't it? I mean, within easy reach of the transmat.. Dr: (contemplating) The transmat... mmm, yeeess... Rom: Possibly even the same place. You know, that "Jubilee Cyber Services". Let's hope its not still locked. Dr: (mumble to self) That's the least of our worrys. Rom: You remember - whatsisname used a key to get in. And I wouldn't put it past the cybermen to have a few other security measures nearby, either. Dr: (not really paying attention) Yes, Cautious bunch, aren't they? Rom: Are you listening to me Doctor? Dr: (to self, examining wall) Fascinating. Rom: Your not still annoyed about me and the hairdryer, are you? Dr: (wakes up) What? er... no,no,no. I was just trying to remember something. This stain on the wall here... What does it remind you of? Rom: Remind me of? Dr: (tasting noise, licks lips) Hmmm.. tastes foul! Wait... (brings out device - beep) Rom: An infra-red lamp, Doctor? What do you want with that? Dr: Look... (buzz of lamp) Rom: Aaah, it's glowing. (realises) Hey! Doesn't that mean...? Dr: Yes, I rather suspect it does. (thinks) This isn't good. Rom: It's all beginning to make more sense now... Dr: Come on - I think this could be more urgent that I first suspected... Scene 5 Cyber HQ Cyber2: We have had contact with our human spy. Leader: And? Cyber2: He reports that we may be discovered by human scientists, if we do not supply false data for his "weather report" Leader: The pitiful earth forces are of no concern. However you may supply the information if it will stall their progress. Cyber2: Yes, Leader. Leader: And what news of the Time Lord? Cyber2: None, Leader. But it would be rational for him to return to the site of the Butterfly Device. Leader: Yes. The Doctor will still be in the area. You will not lose track of him. Cyber2: Acknowledged. I will organise a search. Leader: Excellent. Scene 6 Outside Canary wharf Man 1: Have ya got it? Man 2: (distant) Ya what? Man 1: I said, have you got it? Man 2: Yes, it's fine. Man 1: Good, I'll flip the switch then. Man 2: You'll what? Man 1: I said, I'll turn it on. You know.. light it up. Man 2: Fight what? Man 1: Right, here goes. (electrical fizz) Man 2: Well, her nose works all right, but her left ear is a bit flickery. Man 1: Sorry? Man 2: Oh, I can't hear a word... hold on. I'm coming up... (climbs ladder) I said, her left ear is a bit flickery. Man 1: Yeah, you're right. You did fix that junction socket, didn't you mate? Man 2: Course I did. You think I'd risk the Queen's ear on with a duff junction socket? More than my job's worth. Man 1: Well, I dunno. Beats me. Can't we just leave her with the flickery ear? I mean, you'd hardly notice, if you didn't know. Man 2: Naah, you can't have a half illuminated Queen. It's unpatriotic. Just imagine what the papers would say: "Giant Queen's Face Discrace - Flash us an ear, ma'am..." We'd be out of the Docklands and back into the dole queue before you could say... Man 1: Aaaargh! Man 2: Not exactly what I had in mind. Man 1: No, there. That balloon thing - almost took my ear off. What on earth is it? Man 2: Dunno. Weather balloon perhaps. Look - there's some bloke below with some instruments. Man 1: OY YOU! DOWN THERE! WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT? Scene 7 Canary Wharf (Inside the Office) investigating machine, Romana: It's amazing. I mean, so intricate. Ingenious... Dr: Ingenious?!!! It's outrageous! Do you know how much damage this thing could do if it was turned on full power? Romana: Oooh...about the equivalent of three large tornados? Dr: Not a bad estimate. And combine that with the ability to focus the eye of the storm to an area of within two square feet and you've got something pretty dangerous, even by cyberman standards. Romana: Hmmm.. I wonder what K9 could make of it... Dr: Sorry? Romana: I mean, he could probably put this thing out of action for weeks. Otherwise we're going to have to do it ourselves, by hand. Dr: Aaah, shouldn't be too difficult. What have we got...? Hmmm. Pick a colour. Romana: Red. Dr: 'Fraid there is no red cable. Blue, Green or Yellow? Romana: Green. Dr: Blue it is then. (yanks cable - fizz - alarm bells sound) NOW look what you've done! Romana: They're onto us! Let's get out of here... Cyber1: (wobble of transmat) Halt or I will shoot. Romana: Now where did HE spring from? Dr: Transmat, I expect. Quick! Down the Fire Exit at the back.. (sounds of footsteps and guns being shot) scene 8 outside Dr: (pants) I think we've lost them. (pause) I just hope they don't try and turn that thing on with the cable disconnected. Anything could happen. Romana Still we're fairly safe now. They won't follow us outside. Dr: Let's hope not. Romana: And if they did, I think *that* would soon scare them off! Haha! Just who is it? Dr: Queen of England, Romana. Minus one ear. Or more accurately - a poorly formed plastic effagy of her - part of the jubilee celebrations I guess. It's going to be quite a spectaular event, by the looks of it. Jared: *That* is where you are wrong, Doctor. Dr: Uh? Oh, it's you again. Gosh, you're very good at sneaking up on people aren't you - isn't he good at sneaking up on us, Romana? - all in the feet, I suppose, stealth, agility, a good quiet pair of shoes - very important, I'd say... Jared: You are wrong about the Jubilee, Doctor. It will not be a spectacular event at all. Dr: (agreeing) No, no... I dare say not.. (pause) And *why* is that then? Jared: Or to put it more precisely, it will not even be an *event*. Dr: Cybermen planning to wreck it are they? Banana in the Queen's exhaust? Stink bombs in Buckingham Palace? Jared: You may mock Doctor, but when the Cyber Invasion comes only the loyal few will be spared. Dr: (Angry) Spared? This is the cybermen we are talking about here. Have you ever known them to show compassion towards anything? If you're still alive, then it's only because they think you may still be of some use to them. Nothing else. Jared: No. The Cyber-Leader has promised me control of the whole of Wales. I would be a King. Dr: Oh, is that what he's told you. Look here - the Cybermen have only one aim and that is to conquer the entire universe. Bit unoriginal, I grant you, but they're not innovative sorts. Given a sense of decency they could accomplish great things, but that's not how they are. They're ruthless, genocidal machines, who only use other life forms for their own ends. That's what going on, you know - you're being USED - and, once your use has expired... Jared: Yes? Dr: King or no king, you'll still be disposed of. Jared: (pause) And supposing I was to believe your words - (hastily) which I don't- but... just for argument's sake... Dr: You'd stand just a slightly higher chance of survival. If we can stop the cybermen activating their weather machine up there... then maybe... Jared: Impossible. The Butterfly Device cannot be dismantled without catastrophic consequences. Dr: Believe me -it's your only chance. Only, don't hang around forever waiting to defect. The sun's setting, it's getting cold, and I'd like to head back and get some rest. We've a busy day ahead of us tomorrow... Jared: Defect? No. You are mistaken. The Cybermen are to be the saviours of this planet. Dr: Oh, they'll save it all right. Save it for themselves and no other living organisms of any species. Romana: Let's just go, Doctor. We're wasting our time here. Dr: Very well. We'll need to find a hotel to stay in overnight. (fade) Got any money, by any chance?.... (switch to cyber hq) (playback of last two lines on tape recorder...) Scout: Leader. Our monitors indicate that human unit 58 may no longer be loyal to our cause. Leader: Very well. We cannot take the risk that he has joined forces with the Doctor. We must eradicate him at the first oppotunity. scene 9 (next day) In the Doctor's hotel room. Alarm rings, radio comes on Radio: ...nine o' clock, and once again time for the news - on the hour every hour. Behind the newsdesk, Phil Wilkins. Phil: Thanks Bob. And the headlines this morning: (Bong!) John Birt, ex-controller of BBC found dead under suspicious circumstances... (Bong!) Trouble with Jubilee celebrations as 5000 illuminated Queen's heads are found to be faulty... (bong) finally on a lighter note, turnips... (switched off) Dr: Yawn!(to self) (draws back curtains)... hum! Frost? This early in the year? Odd. Hmmm. (whistles to self, goes over to sink...) (runs tap... cleans teeth) (door opens and Romana bursts in) Romana: Aren't you up yet? I've already been for a morning swim in the pool upstairs. Dr: Excuse me - don't knock before you come in. Romana: Well, sorry, but I thought you would have been up by now. It is nine already, you know. Hey... nice pyjamas. I like that question mark motif. Very... chic. Dr: Yes, thank you, Romana. Haven't you got something else to be doing? Romana: Not really. I've already had breakfast. Oh, and by the way, I think you've just missed it. They stop serving at nine. Dr: No matter. Tell you what, you go settle the bill and I'll meet you down in the foyer in 20 minutes. Alright? Romana: Tell you what. I'll put it on your tab - you already owe me 350 pounds. Dr: (dismissive) yes, whatever you say... Romana: Why do I get the feeling I'm not being taken seriously.... Foyer. Twenty minutes, okay? (leaves - door fx) (footsteps and door again being locked) Dr: Aaah! That feels better. Ready to face the Cosmos! Romana: Doctor!? How come you've got changed so quickly. You said twenty minutes. Dr: Aaah, these things are easy when you're a Timelord. Come on, you've got to pay that bill, and then we're both back off to Canary Wharf, where we left the TARDIS. Scene 10 Office. Man 1: And my previous job was working in the BBC Drama department writing Science Fiction. Man 2 And.. (let me see) that was until May this year? Am I right? Man 1: Yes. That's when the department was finally dissolved. Most of the staff were transferred to doing fly on the wall documentaries, but a few of us were left redundant. Man 2: I see. It will be quite a change of scene for you. I must make that clear. Perhaps you could tell me just why exactly you feel Jubilee Cyber Services is the company for you? Man 1: Er.. Well, from a young age I've always been interested in new developments in cybernetics. Ummm...that's where the science fiction interest came from, actually. And I've been most impressed with what I've heard about your projects in the field of Meteorology. Man 2: I see. Well, Mr Peddler, this all seems to be quite satisfactory. From when exactly would you be availible? Man 1: Oh, from today really.. Man 2: That's excellent, as we've got some important tests starting this afternoon and we'd like to get you involved straight away. Man 1: Ha! Superb. It's been a pleasure, Mrs. Yentob. I look forward to doing my best for your company. Man 2: (cybermanesque) Excellent... scene 11 In street Dr: That's not a bad idea actually. Romana: Well, *I* thought so. Dr: Let's not waste any more time then. Ha look, over there, a phone box... (dials, rings... on phone) Ah hello, this is your scientific advisor here, Dr Smith. Could I speak to Brigadier Bambera please?... Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that... well, could I speak to her successor? Thank you... Romana: Hey, whats going on. Let me listen.... Dr: Romana! I'm afraid this particular box *isn't* bigger on the inside. Romana: It's all right, I can squeeze in... Dr: (to Romana) shhh.. Ah, Brigadier... Brig: (on phone) Doctor Smith! At last. I've been hearing quite a lot about you, you know. Dr: (chuffed) Really? Brig: Not all of it good, of course. Dr: Ah. Well you'll thank me for this one, believe me. Look I'll make it brief as I've only put a pound in the phone. Brig: (impatient) Go on then. Hit me with it. Dr: Cybermen. They've set up base in the Underground and are planning an invasion.. Brig: Same old story, eh Doctor? Dr: I'm serious, Brigadier. They've got a weather controlling device, up the top of Canary Wharf... potentially very destructive... Brig: I see. Well, where are you at the moment? Dr: Canary Wharf tube station .. (suddenly distant explosion) WHat on Earth was that? Romana: Sounded serious, and it came from above.. Dr: (pips...) Look that's the pips. I'll have to go now... Make sure you get over here quick, all right? Brig: Yes... o(... cut off. dialling tone.) Romana: Come on Doctor, we need to get back up to the top of Canary Wharf immediately and see what that explosion was... Dr: Yes, you're right, though I shudder to think what we'll find there... scene 12 Cyber HQ Scout: I report a malfunction with series B test on the Butterfly Device. Our cameras are no longer functional, and sensors indicate a possible explosion in the vicinity. Leader: Has the area been evacuated? Scout: There was only one cyber unit present, but there is no longer any response. Leader: Send the repair team as soon as possible... Scout: I obey. scene 13 Inside Jubilee Cyber Services Romana: Look at the place! It's been wrecked. Dr: Careful where you walk. Some of this stuff could be dangerous... So... they did attempt to test it. The fools. Romana: Then it was a good job that you did sabotage it yesterday. Dr: (Annoyed.) Good!! Good?!!? Nothing about any of this is good, Romana. This little bang won't buy us more than a few hours, and at what cost I wonder... Romana: (footsteps and then scream!) Dr: What is it? Romana: Doctor. There's a body here. A man. I think he's ...(draws breath) ...I think he's dead. Dr: (Comes across) (to self) oh no, check pulse.... nothing. I'm afraid he must have been standing too close to the machine when it backfired. Any ID... Hmm, a mister Peddler, in his late thirties. It would appear he was in the employment of our cyber-friends. Oh dear, what DID we do yesterday? Romana: Come on, Doctor. It wasn't our fault. We weren't to know, and if the Cybermen aren't stopped then *millions* more will die. Dr: I suppose you're right. But was there... (Suddenly, cyber-groan) STEP BACK! That was the sound of an injured Cyberman, or I'm no judge. Romana: Yes, look in that corner... what do I do, Doctor? Dr: Back away, very slowly. We'll go straight back to the TARDIS... Careful, now.. Cyber: (slow, pained) A human! Help me. I need repair... Dr: (astounded) My god. Romana: Don't listen to it, Doctor. Cyber: I am injured. I would be grateful if you could help me. Romana: Doctor! It's evil. Let's just go... Dr: Wo,wo,wo.... wait a minute. Did he just say 'grateful'? Cyber: Doctor, please help me. My back-up life support is failing fast. Soon the damage will pass the critical stage, and no repair will be possible. Dr: You know, I think that blast may have knocked some sense into him. Romana: You're kidding, right? Dr: No I'm not. Think about it - if that machine caused lightening in such a confined space and it struck that cyberman, it could have altered his neural structure. Romana: One zap and he's turned good? I don't think so Doctor. Can we leave? Dr: The part of his physiology that blocks out emotions may have been damaged. In essence, he could now be no different to one of us. We must help him. Romana: Do you realise what kind of risk you'd be taking.... Cyber: Doc-torrr.... Dr: No arguments. Help me drag him back to the TARDIS. We've got the medical equipment there to help him. (pause, senses Romana's doubt) NOW!! Romana: Okay... Scene 14 (Tardis door swings open) K9: ...342277102... Dr: Yes, thank you K9. You can stop calculating pi now. We've got more urgent matters to deal with. Come on Romana, heave after 3.. 3.. K9: Danger, master! Cyberman intrusion detected. Dr: He's not an intruder, K9. He's a guest, and I'd appreciate it if you would run a quick medical scan on our silver friend here and let me know what can be done to repair him. K9: Affirmative. Scanning.... (sound) Major internal rupturing of several life-critical units. Prognosis: Death in 27 minutes. Dr: I won't hear it! Romana.. open the tool box and fetch the moog drone, the clamps and my weather forecaster. Romana: Your weather forecaster? Dr: Yes you know - knocked up out of parts of an old cybermat, you said. Romana: It was a joke, doctor. Dr: And an uncanniliy accurate one at that. Quick. Those parts could be critical to repairing him... Romana: If you say so... Dr: I do! Now please step to it - we don't have much time... K9: 26 minutes and counting, master... (music interlude - time passes) Scene 15: Cyber HQ Scout: The butterfly device has now been satisfactorily repaired. Leader: Excellent. Run the final series C tests and then commence 'Jubilee'. Scout: I will make it so, leader. Scene 16: In TARDIS Dr: This is much more serious than I realised. Romana: An invasion? Colin: Yes, as far as I can remember. They were to strike all major power and communication stations... Dr: Figures. It'd bring the country to a standstill, leaving it open to their attack-fleet. Romana: And when would this occur? Colin: That information has been wiped from my memory core... Romana: Aaah.. Dr: (pause) no wait. Is your intercom system still functioning in your helmet? Colin: Your repairs on me were good, Doctor. I believe it may still be operational. Dr: Right! Quick Romana, you get an external lead from the TARDIS console. I'll try and access the comms unit on Colin here.. Now this might hurt a bit, but it shouldn't be dangerous. Colin: Ok. You will find a connection panel on my chest. Dr: Righty-o then. Thank you, Romana... Here goes... (scanner tunes into white noise) Romana: Nothing. Dr: Step up the reception frequency one kiloherz at a time, until we find something. Romana: Okay... (tunes into cyber hq...) Radio: ...completed successfully leader... Excellent... The time has finally arrived. Commence invasion plan codename Jubilee. I obey, leader... Romana: (gasp!) Dr: No! They're beginning already.. Romana: (urgent) Can't we do something? Colin: No. That means you are too late. Nothing can be done to prevent the invasion. In two hours London will belong to the Cybermen... Dr: No.... I've lost. CREDITS: JUBILEE - Episode Two Written By Jon Greenwood & Howard Richardson Starring: Andrew Haynes as the Doctor Sarah Chaney as Romana Damian Brooks as the CyberLeader, Mr Peddlar Howard Richardson as Jared & K9, Mr Yentob Jon Greenwood as Mr Callahan & Colin Craig Holland & Matt Williams as the Workmen Philip Wilkins as the newsreader Daniel Whittle as the Briagdier. Cybermen voices were by members of the cast. Original Concept by Jon Greenwood Audio Effects were by Howard Richardson & Jon Greenwood Digital Editing and Music were by the FloorTen Radiophonic Workshop This has been a FloorTen Audio Production. (c) 1998 J. Greenwood & H. Richardson